Hello Bethlehem, are u ready to rock?

As I coast around the interwebs looking for these things, I have to admit to a bit of relief that some searches come up empty. Not finding viable entries for categories such as nativity bongs, patriotic nativities, nativity-on-a-stick, and cheese nativity is oddly heartwarming. Also grateful that googling ‘leather nativity’ only brings up this one. I’m a bit surprised it isn’t a band name, actually.


we come from the land of the ice and snow

A land, I might add, of oddly-proportioned creatures.

big boy?

My favorite thing about this one is how much Joseph looks like the statue outside the old Big Boy. It used to end up on the roof of the high school every year around homecoming.

big boy

Actually, that’s a lie. My favorite thing is that it makes me want to say “we must get moose and seal” in a Boris and Natasha voice. Because there’s a moose…and…oh, never mind.

ewww, smells like Kinkade

Today we salute Thomas Kinkade, painter of…actually, I don’t know if he even paints anymore, or just keeps lots of factories busy churning out nativity nausea-bait.

This one spins when you pull the tassel. I hope the wisemen enjoy their ride on the Tilt-O-Jesus.


This tree skirt has embedded fiber optic lights, so the stars twinkle.

seriously?  fiber optic?

And there’s a matching fiber optic wreath! We live in a golden age.



Two examples of the nativity scene with giant angel motif.

“Not like I was using my legs or anything…”

You know what this needs? Fiber optics. And moving wings. Yes.

bigass fiber optic