I am not responsible for the content of the above ads, which are often hilariously mis-matched.

Hear this, O ye love-child of Methuselah, for you will be mocked by eunuchs!

Found via the Fruitcake Zone at Ship of Fools ("In our opinion, there's no fruitcake like religious fruitcake"): AfterlifeTelegrams.com. Be sure to read the FAQ. Remember, "Reincarnation could cause a problem. By the time the telegram can reach the addressee, he could already be back on earth." $5.00 per word, which is refunded if the messenger lives longer than a year.

You may also enjoy the Biblical Curse Generator. I hope you will be smitten with all-over boils, thou offspring of a squashed cockroach!
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Wednesday, July 16, 2003

everybody's working on the weekend....er....for the weekend...

Hey, let's talk about me. Me me me.

Last weekend was completely fabulous. I had Godly Play training on Friday and Saturday, which was so much more than I expected. I am fully on board for Godly Play this fall; I'm not sure which classroom I'll be in or what I'll be doing, but I really want to be a part of it.

At the beginning of the training, the trainer sat us all on the floor and told us the story of Abraham and Sarah, using a big sandbox and small wooden figures. She didn't look at us as she moved the figures through the desert, speaking very slowly and calmly. It was much more affecting than one would expect, given that we're talking about a rubbermaid box full of sand and a couple of wooden block figures (who, technically, were Noah and Mrs. Noah, from another set). I actually got choked up when she said that God came very, very close to Abraham (here she lowered her hand until her open palm almost touched the figure) and told him what to do. Like I said, it was more powerful than it objectively should have been. Which is part of the appeal for me; it felt like our friend the Holy Spirit was really present in what she was doing. Who wouldn't want to get in on that?

Saturday night I went to a party given by my former roommates. The food was amazing, as always, and they made the best sangria I've ever tasted. I actually managed to complete Bud's birthday present on time; it was a set of three dishtowels embroidered with motifs from the Viva Las Vegas collection by Sublime Stitching (the flaming martini, the royal flush, and the lucky lady). For the record, I think the Martha Stewart floursack dishtowels @ Kmart rock for embroidery. The flaming martini towel was put into immediate service.

Sunday night I completed my training to be a small group leader. I probably won't have my own group any time soon, but the person who leads my group is With Child and will need to take a break this fall, so I'll step in then. The training was fun, mostly because I didn't know the other people very well and we ended up having a fine time and laughing a lot.

I'm still working on finishing the fairy costume, which is almost done and should be in the mail soon, and then I'm starting a Godly Play project, which is dressing 4 little baby dolls in Christening gowns for the lesson about baptism. I've been advised that I do not, repeat, NOT need to go all-out on these. As if I would ever do that.
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Monday, July 14, 2003

just gonna get my feet wet until I drown

John 6

¹⁶When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, ¹⁷where they got into a boat and set off across the lake for Capernaum. By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. ¹⁸A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. ¹⁹When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified. ²⁰But he said to them, "It is I; don't be afraid." ²¹Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.

I love this passage...I love that the disciples weren't frightened by the storm, they were frightened by Jesus walking toward the boat. On the water.

The disciples knew about storms; they spent a lot of time out on the water. Storms were part of normal life. Not a fun part, but a familiar one. Guys walking on water, on the other hand - that's new. Gotta get used to that. Brain...can't...deal...

There was a moment there when they had to choose between continuing through the storm, something they could probably do with reasonably good results, and pulling Jesus into their boat. Jesus told them not to be afraid, and they decided to believe him. As soon as he was in the boat, they bypassed the rest of the storm and landed safely on the shore.

Ok, so the decision was a bit easier for them because Jesus was standing right there, water lapping around his ankles. It's not so easy for me to keep pulling Jesus into the boat. I think I can do just fine on my own, thank you very much. I'm managing. Really. Thank you for your concern.

The annoying thing about this passage is that it punctures the idea that, in resisting Jesus, I'm acting from strength - I don't need no stinkin' savior! - because just by saying 'be not afraid' Jesus brings the real issue right into focus. It's fear that keeps us from moving forward in faith. We've been talking about that a lot in church lately. I wish we would stop, to tell you the truth. I have some nice little illusions about the role of fear in my faith journey and I'd like to keep them for a little while longer. Sigh. Truth is so irritating sometimes.
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cavalcade of bad liturgical fashion?

Today's Real Live Preacher features this communion table:

Those who followed me over here from Going Bridal may remember the Cavalcade of Bad Bridal Fashion...I didn't think there would be a corresponding section on Going Jesus, but maybe there should be a place to note such horrors. BTW, Preacher says this is made of plexiglass and sells for $1999. Is it supposed to go on Wonder Woman's invisible plane?
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Sunday, July 13, 2003

A little more wisdom from Henri Nouwen:

Often it is the dark forest that makes us speak about the open field. Frequently prison makes us think about freedom, hunger helps us to appreciate food, and war gives us words for peace. Not seldom are our visions of the future born out of the suffering of the present and our hope for others out of our own despair. Only a few "happy endings" make us happy, but often someone's careful and honest articulation of the ambiguities, uncertainties, and painful conditions of life give us new hope. The paradox is indeed that new life is born out of the pains of the old.

- from the introduction to Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life
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