Angels We Have Heard
Are High

angelic kitsch...from Hell

Cavalcade of Bad Nativities
it came upon a midnight weird

The Passion of the Tchotchke
holy week kitsch-o-rama

Stations of the Kitsch


I am not responsible for the content of the above ads, which are often hilariously mis-matched.


Tuesday, January 30, 2007

manos: baby of fate

Aaaannnd...the wonderful time of good baby sleep has ended. I think it's one of those developmental leap things, most likely because OMIGOD MAMA HAVE YOU SEEN THESE THINGS ON THE ENDS OF MY ARMS? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS? Isaac has hands, and they are So Freaking Cool. Who can sleep when you have HANDS? HANDS!

I'm dealing with the PPD, and my dr. is on it. I went to my Crazy Mutha support group today, which helped. I've been slipping into isolation mode again, so I had to really force myself to go. I'll get this all figured out eventually, it's just that motherhood is like throwing Super Radioactive Miracle Grow onto my usual cast of inner gremlins, and most of the time I'm too tired to fight them off, or to at least turn them into something more entertaining. Dance monkey-gremlins, dance.

Gracie has grown weary of hissing at Bea, who is demonstrating the kittenly art of bouncing the hell off the walls. So I think the whole two cats thing is going to work out.

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Sunday, January 28, 2007

blessed are those who hunger, for their bowls shall be filled. now.

New kitty has a name! She is Beatitudes, aka Bea.

So far so good on the inter-feline relations. Bea is letting Queen Gracie rule, and being non-agressive. Blessed are the meek, for they shall not have their asses handed to them by big yellow kitties.

In other news, Isaac is sleeping very well the past few days, which is a charming quality in a baby and one I hope to see continue. Of course, instead of just accepting that he has finally gotten the sleep part of his brain in order for the moment, I have to mindfuck it and try to figure out what I was doing wrong before. I'm really hoping that I can get to a point where my answer to every question about him isn't "...BECAUSE I AM A TERRIBLE MOTHER." Post-partum depression: it's a fucking picnic, I tell you what.

My knitter's block is over and I'm currently working on the Cardigan for Merry, in red Cashmerino 4-ply for Isaac. I had to rip out several inches yesterday because I totally botched the cable, but the second attempt is coming along nicely. Meanwhile, I'm dealing with the fact that, unlike Gracie, Bea is not blind to the fun possibilities of a kitty with some yarn. I'm going to have to be much better about putting projects away.

The church finally got a new furnace installed late last week, so work should be much more pleasant this week, what with the not freezing and all.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

santa's little helper

So...right around Christmas, this little black kitten showed up around our building. She was very sweet and affectionate and fluffy and tried to follow people home. Including us, but we said no, go home little kitty. She doesn't have one, though...one of the neighbors did some checking and found out that she had been thrown out by some jackass down the street. That neighbor took the kitty in at night but didn't really claim her.

So, the kitty has been hanging around, and she and Gracie started to sort of not hate each other, like they could both be on the patio at the same time with only mild, disinterested hissing. Almost more like a contractual obligation than any real hostility.

Over the past month, we've come up with pretty much every reason why it would be a bad, bad idea to have another kitty right now. Very bad! Shouldn't do it!

Guess who's snoozing away at our house right now.


Anyway, our new kitty is all-black and very fluffy, with pretty yellow eyes. She has a trip to the vet in her immediate future and maybe they'll be able to guess how old she is. She's not a tiny kitten, but she's definitely not full grown, either.

We'd been calling her Santa's Little Helper, because she showed up around Christmas, but that's not the right name for her. We're waiting on that one.

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Monday, January 22, 2007

the big reveal

Wow, your guesses all make me think that we got off cheap!

The bill from the hospital was $476,359.51. So an average of right around $8k per day.

Michael Main guessed $476,598.63, so he is the closest. Email me with your address and I will send you some awesome kitsch from my vast collection!

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Friday, January 19, 2007

new contest!

It's a new version of the Guess A Number game, but this time instead of using a random one, we're going to...

Guess How Much It Costs To Keep A Baby in the NICU for 59 Days

Ok, this is JUST the hospital costs, and does not include the bills from the doctors, which were an extra $5k or so per week. I'm looking for the amount that was billed to my insurance company.

The good news is, our insurance doesn't really suck, and while we will be making payments on the baby for a good long while, he came out to less than $3,000/lb. out of pocket based on his birth weight. Makes that fancy Japanese beef that has its own masseuse seem pretty darn cheap.

For reference, my two-week bedrest in the same hospital was right around $98,000.

Post your guesses in the comments, and I'll try to figure out what you'll win.

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

nine pounds!

We have nine pounds of boy today! That's three times as much Isaac as we started with. Does this look like a boy who used to weigh three pounds?

We went to the pediatric gastroenterologist today. She doesn't think there's anything wrong with him that he won't just outgrow, and she adjusted his reflux meds to keep him comfortable until then. That's a big relief.

Leigh was here for a visit last week (to see the exciting WALKING Nathan) and took some great photos of Isaac, like that one of him on the gorgeous blanket Rita knit for him.

The office is still freezing; of course we're having a bizarre cold snap now that we have no furnace. I have a little space heater to huddle up to. There's a new boiler on the way, so I'm hoping this won't last much longer. Timmy the Fish has found a temporary new home during the climate crisis.

Next week is the dreaded Week Before The Parish Annual Meeting, and as usual, I'm behind on my holy deliverables, like the annual report. Will this be the year that I salt various sections with strange non-sequiturs to see if anyone actually reads it? Only the sentient rabbits who live in the sacristy and polish the silver with their fluffy little tails know for sure.

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Saturday, January 13, 2007

marked as Christ's own

As promised, more photos of Isaac's baptism collection.

I wanted something really tailored and simple. The pattern is the Boy's Christening Gown by Creations by Michie, in silk duopioni. The cross embroidery is by Zundt, and I stitched it in matte and shiny thread.

I knit most of this shawl while Isaac was in the NICU. It's Rowan Kid Silk Haze, and the pattern was from the Fall issue of Interweave Knits.

Ryan made cookies to celebrate!

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Friday, January 12, 2007

right on!

I took Calculon back today. My rented breast pump has been my constant companion for three months, but I've replaced him with a portable model that I can take to work. It comes in its own kicky little tote bag and everything.

The motor to the new pump sounds like it's saying RIGHT ON! RIGHT ON! RIGHT ON! So I'm getting a nice little dose of affirmation along with the IsaacChow. Right on!

Still pumping. Isaac isn't adverse to boob, but we're still fortifying the pumped milk to get some extra calories into him, so he's mostly a bottle guy. He's still having tummy issues. We're taking him to a pediatric gastroenterologist next week. Poor little guy.

The furnace at work died this week. It's been threatening to for years, but this time it's for real. The office is damn cold. I have a space heater in my cube, but I'm definitely going to be showing off my thick chunky sweater collection until we get a new furnace installed. Which is not a fast process, apparently. Brrrr.

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Sunday, January 07, 2007

thank you for calling St. Ned's!

I just answered the phone at home with my perky-ass chirpy work voice and little spiel. This is Sara! Dennis' friend on the other end of the line seemed a bit confused.

Isaac got baptized today! He slept through it until I handed him over to SassyPriest, and didn't get at all upset when she poured the water on his head. He was smiling and social and adorable afterwards.

I was up until ass o'clock this morning finishing his gown. I'll have detail shots later (because I left it at my parents' hotel room, oops), but here he is hating it:

My mom had to miss the baptism, because she has been stuck in the hotel room since Thursday night with a horrible case of food poisoning. Poor mom! They're here until this Friday, so we still have time to have fun once she's better. She went to my doctor's urgent care clinic yesterday and they said she's not dangerously dehydrated. She's on the mend, but it has been awful for her.

I'm starting to notice how often Isaac is doing the Baby Power salute in photos. Here's another one:

Slightly visible here is one of Dennis' favorite t-shirts ever, Crimefighters by Brandon Bird.

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

The mirror people laugh at you and laugh at me

This is Isaac's new friend, Mirror Baby. Mirror Baby is freaking hilarious, man. That guy is always doing cool stuff.

However, one should watch out for his evil counterpart, Mirror Mirror Baby.

Hint: you can tell he's evil 'cause of the beard. If Star Trek is to be trusted, anyway.

The first week back at work went ok. I celebrated Take Our Chickens To Work Day yesterday, since I only work a half day on Fridays and Dennis really, really needed to get some sleep. Isaac mostly just napped in his stroller, and when he woke up I put him in the Bjorn for a while.

I'm so happy that he's big enough for the Bjorn now, because he looooves it, and I like having the front-mounted baby and two functional hands. I have a Hotslings sling, too, but he's never liked it as much. Now that he's bigger and can sit in it more ways, he might be more into it, so I haven't given up.

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Monday, January 01, 2007

sara writes about going to the mall and hates herself for it

I went to the HellMall today. I've managed to avoid it for months, but I was staring down the barrel of going back to work with no clothes that fit me, so off to the mall I went, with Ryan to provide comic relief and someone to listen to me complain.

HellMall is the biggest mall in silicon valley, two stories of mostly high-end stores. If you want an $80 baby outfit, it's the place to go. Which may explain why I don't go there very often. But, like I said, the baby boobs aren't fitting into the old shirts, and it seemed like the place with the most concentrated supply of possible replacements.

I hate shopping for clothes. Did I mention that?

The good news is I found three sweaters and a pair of pants that aren't all that stupid-looking, and got them all on sale. The sort-of bad news is that I got them at Forth & Towne, the new Gap brand. The new Gap brand for women over 35. Which, sure, I'm 36 and fat, and stuff at the regular Gap looks like ass on me (don't even get me started on Old Navy...), but still. Arrrgh. I will never be cool.

I wanted to go to jjill (as long as I'm embracing my mom-shaped demographic) because I liked a sweater on their website, but they only had it in size tiny, and I didn't stick around to browse because the muzak was horrible. Some chick was doing a really, really sincere cover of a Sting song, which meant that the overall sincerity concentration was reaching levels unsafe for humans. Ryan was over at Lucky trying on and rejecting some $118 jeans so I had no one to snark on that with. But it was really, really bad. Also, I was the only customer in the store and I always feel weird about that, like I've made a commitment I don't intend to live up to. You know I'll only leave you, right? Like I said, I don't go to the mall much.

Lunch was at the food court, of course. The tables there have ad spaces built in. This means it's someone's job to go around and change all the ads to shill for whatever new movie is coming out. There are also plasma screens up above the crowd showing ads, so I had to make my usual lame A new life awaits you in the off-world colonies joke. I am nothing if not predictible.

Isaac was home with his daddy, pouring on the cute. He was so excited about his playmat, he could not be contained by any camera.

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