Angels We Have Heard
Are High

angelic kitsch...from Hell

Cavalcade of Bad Nativities
it came upon a midnight weird

The Passion of the Tchotchke
holy week kitsch-o-rama

Stations of the Kitsch


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Friday, October 29, 2004

I give up

Ok, FINE, God, have it your way.

So, I guess I won't quit skool, given the vast forces that are being marshalled to keep me there. So far I've had random bits of scripture of the Be Not Afraid variety popping up, I've had people look me in the eye and tell me that it's not an option, and I've had really perky songs pop up in my random shuffle on Larry the iPod 2. Fine.

Of course, this means I get to practice my diaconal humility, aka grovel, because I have not done my homework. I think it will work out, though.

Although it does mean that I will not get to use my excellent post title, Deacon Skool dropout...go back to high school... but I'm providing it here for the Grease soundtrack song-bomb anyway. Man, I played that record into the fucking ground. One of the things that most scares me about parenthood is that I have some monstrous karmic payback waiting for my Annie phase. Let's see...if the current trend of pop-musicals keeps up, I can expect to be forced to listen to the original cast recording of Oops: The Britney Story until my ears bleed.
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

sara whines

I still feel like crap on a stick. I'm staying home again today. I'm running a bit of a fever, and the tasks of taking a shower and getting dressed wore me right out. I drove Dennis to work because I hadn't been out of the house in three days and it seemed like a fun novelty.

I really need to get better, if only because I'm serving at all three services at skool this weekend. I get to read at two of them (I'm All Revelation, All The Time), and then I'm the crucifer/chalice bearer at the repulsively early service on Saturday. And I've never done that, so I have to get there even earlier for instructions. I think this will be the first time I'm ever been on time for the 7:45 service.

I'm feeling so discouraged still about skool. I mean, seriously, clerical collars aren't even a little bit flattering - is it worth this much work to wear something that will only draw attention to my incredibly short neck? For those of you playing along at home, this is probably Really Lame Exuse #2,384. I should just go write a paper or something. Or, more likely, take another nap.
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Monday, October 25, 2004

crank up the sympathy

I'm siiiiiiiick. My head hurrrrrrts. My body aaaaaaaaches. I can't breeeeeeeathe. Make me tooooooast. Nuke my heeeeeeeat pack.

Dennis is seriously a candidate for sainthood at this point.
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Friday, October 22, 2004

happy blog readiing

Thanks to alert reader Lisa as well as A Bad Christian Blog for tipping me off to my new favoritest blog, They Will Know Us By Our T-Shirts. Here's a sample:

My coworkers and I are thinking about writing a book. We'll call it, How I Almost Lost My Faith and Committed Murder Working At a Christian Bookstore.

Heh. I don't actually shop at Christian bookstores, because of the Thomas Kinkade overload, but now I think I might be missing something.
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froofy box

I've finished a project that doesn't photograph very well. I made a dressup kit, which will be auctioned off tomorrow night at St. Ned's annual schmancy dinner. Of course, I had originally planned for it to be much bigger and more elaborate, but reality didn't work out that way. So here's what's in it:

2 skirts - one is sheer pink with white iridescent sequins and ribbon roses, and the other is purple metallic with beaded purple trim at the hem.

2 dresses - one is lavender stretch velvet with a sequined satin skirt and a border of wide lace, and the other is red metallic foil with red sequins and a pink marabou hem. This one could actually double as a skirt, since I didn't put straps on it. It just has the stretchy sequins at the top.

2 capes - one is that sheer pink fabric, with the same sequins and roses, and the other is black velvet with silver trim and big honking rhinestones glued on it randomly. The button at the neck is a nice antique rhinestone one.

3 boas/stoles - one is just a boring feather boa, one is pink hologram foil with metallic red boucle on the back, and the other is black slinky knit with blue and turquoise glitter designs on it.

I'm a bit nervous because I did one of these at my old church and the final auction price didn't even cover the materials I put into it - I should have just written the check to the church and saved myself the effort. But there are many more little girls at St. Ned's, so hopefully someone will want it. Or, more precisely, hopefully two or more someones will want it and there will be a bidding war. The proceeds benefit the diocese's ministry with the working poor and homeless in San Jose, and I really want them to make a lot of money from the dinner and auction this year.
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Thursday, October 21, 2004

things I do when my brain is full

Mental amusement break: I ran a previous going jesus entry through Google's translater...English to German to French and back again. See if you can figure out which day this was:

Rains of rain go my personal object of Bitching must far it lasted me two hours, to receive, to be worked this morning, grace the beginning at the rainy season. One hour of that was a right abandonment Oakland. This kind of the right pressures lead outside enough me - my shoulders are still Spitzentempus. Or perhaps the right pain in my muscles of cord is. My knitting group, our lady of the fixing given up without end met yesterday evening, and I started again the hat of baby with the BabyKs remainders of the cardigan rosafarbenen of a chunky. The thing is, has to me needles Addi turbo+ for my newer project (I do not say to him what are used, therefore nyaaaaa) and him so also and exciting and metal and outward journey in my Bambusrundschreiben are back which is believed terribly. I must precisely really receive a practice of drug, since it would be inexpensive.

Language is so much fun.
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

litany of dismissal

 The Lord said to Abraham,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 The Lord said to Isaac,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 Moses said to the people,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 Joshua said to the people,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 Boaz said to Ruth,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 Jonathan said to David,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 The angel of the Lord said to Joseph,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 The angel said to Mary,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 The angel said to the shepherds,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 The angel said to the women at the tomb,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 The Lord said to Paul,
ALL:Do not be afraid.
 And Jesus said,
ALL:Do not be afraid, I am with you always.
 Let us not be afraid as we go into the world, fully alive in the love of God through Jesus Christ our Peace.
ALL:Thanks be to God.

I found this on a website somewhere, not credited. I really like it.

In other news, the fairy godchild has figured out that her finger will fit inside her nose.
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

rain rain go away

My personal Object of Bitching is that it took me two hours to get to work this morning, thanks to the beginning of rainy season. An hour of that was just getting out of Oakland. That kind of driving just stresses me right out - my shoulders are still a bit tense. Or maybe that's just pain in my knitting muscles. My knitting group, Our Lady of the Perpetually Dropped Stitch met last night, and I cranked out a chunky baby hat using the leftovers from BabyK's pink sweater. The thing is, I've been using Addi Turbo Needles for my latest project (I'm not saying what it is, so nyaaaaa) and they're so slick and lovely and metal, and going back to my bamboo circulars felt awful. I really need to just get a drug habit, since it would be cheaper.

You know how cute that baby is who keeps showing up here is? Well, guess what - she's moving to freaking Montana next month! I'm trying not to think about it. I'm going to miss her and her parents and her dog and her cat so much!
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The Windsor Report

I have not personally sat down to slog through all 100 or whatever pages of the report, but I do appreciate this useful summary. Snerk.
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Thursday, October 14, 2004

laughing too hard to breathe

Query Letters I Love

BONGO the Clown, aka DRAKE, steals a locket that will reverse the stronghold the order of Clowns has over the entire world. Once in the human world, Drake and reporter MICHELLE, photographer CONOR and his girlfriend CATE must join forces with IKE the talking dog to battle BACKBONE, the king of all clowns. With the world in turmoil, clowns turning to soy, a beautiful clown assassin and a journey under the sea, an army of Viking midgets these clowns may be our only hope.
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cute cute cute cute

Grandmaster BabyK in her pink sweater and hat (see October 8).

Yes, they're way too big. I don't care!

Yes, that is a permanent marker. She can't get the cap off. Yet.
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Monday, October 11, 2004

anything can be extreme if it involves enough fire

Since Leigh the Pumpkin Master is on her way back to New York, she won't be around for PumpkinFest this year. So I'll just be amazed by ExtremePumpkins.com. (via Not Martha)
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liturgical fear factor

Another weekend of skool down. I got my first round of papers back, with generally good comments except one reflection paper, where the instructor pretty much called me on my bullshit. I hate that. Dammit, I should be able to just write something clever and surface-y and not have anyone notice that I haven't really gotten at anything real. It's always worked for me so far.

I can see that skool is going to have to be something that I'm constantly re-committing to. I mean, what isn't, but I keep finding myself having to move through the fear rather deliberately on this one in a way that I don't have to so much with my job or my marriage or other things.

The fear isn't about the coursework, which is time-consuming but not difficult. I'm sure I spend more time procrastinating and bitching about it than it takes to actually do it. It's more the bigger part, which is the formation, the part about turning me into a Deacon. The classes are really just an excuse to get their hands on us for three years. It won't matter if I can't remember who was at which fourth century church council (although I think the church history class is my favorite), but it will matter if I don't remember to conform my will to that of Christ and get that obedience thing down, or if I throw a random Alleluia in the dismissal during Advent. Ok, there are worse things than a seasonally inappropriate Alleluia, but there are a few practicalities of worship that I need to get my head around. And the singing. Not thinking about that one.

I haven't even begun to get the real fear about The Process yet, since I have wisely put that off a year. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I also had to defend my life to the Commission on Ministry right now. I need to get to a point where my first impulse isn't to talk people out of ordaining me.

And then there was the thing at lunch yesterday where my intended statement, that one could go to deacon skool and still remain a layperson, came out as: one could go to deacon skool and still get laid.
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Friday, October 08, 2004

finished project

Here is the sweater I knit for the fairy godchild. It's quite pink.

The buttons are 2 buttons layered together. I put some of the pink hearts on the top of the hat, also.

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Thursday, October 07, 2004

"Even the most depraved Barbie Doll collector couldn't top this"

Dollhouse people can be weird. Miniature crime scenes. Created 40 years before CSI.

I myself am a former dollhouse person. Won a prize in a talent show for one of my vignettes, I did. I was 15, I think. Anyway, it's probably for the best that I never thought of this, since I spent enough time in the school counselor's office as it was.
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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

being really REALLY self-referential

I just went back and re-read what I wrote about tithing last year, and ya know what? I still like it, and don't have much to add.

Sara talks about money

I'm coming up on another skool for geekons weekend, so my brainpower is pretty much all focused in that direction. Except tonight, when I'm going to hang out with Ryan and special guest star Leigh, who is in town this week.
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Saturday, October 02, 2004

tick tick tick tick tick

Today was the first birthday party for the fairy godchild and her friend who is three days younger than she is. BabyK was appropriately adorable and was walking all over the place. She wore a dress and bloomers I made this summer. It was the rough draft for her baptism dress (which I still don't have a photo of, sorry!), done in cotton from the clearance table at fabric hell, plus a whole bunch of yellow rickrack. It has a huge skirt (90" diameter - I actually cut down the baptism dress a bit, since that is just too much fabric) so when she sat down on the ground, it puffed around her.

We had bottles of bubbles to blow at the party; she's gnawing away on the cap of hers in the photos. She has seven little teeth, and I love it when she gives me the full-tooth crinkle-nose smile.

She didn't go psycho on her little birthday cake, but her friend did. His cake was completely demolished, and he was Mr. Frosting. It was brilliant.

I finally got some kitchen photos up at sewgeeky (translation: I finally remembered where I left the camera).
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