Angels We Have Heard
Are High

angelic kitsch...from Hell

Cavalcade of Bad Nativities
it came upon a midnight weird

The Passion of the Tchotchke
holy week kitsch-o-rama

Stations of the Kitsch


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Thursday, June 24, 2004


This would be so cool:

Archbishop 'may star in Simpsons'

Thanks be to alert reader Mary, who sent me this newsbit.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

and he always had some mighty fine wine

Amusing moment in this morning's Bible Study class: we were reading Jeremiah, and someone said that she just couldn't see the name Jeremiah without adding the phrase, "...was a bullfrog." So we ended up all singing the first verse of Joy to the World just to get it out of our systems so that we could keep talking about the prophets.
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Saturday, June 19, 2004

dress your family in formica and rickrack

I sewed today. I felt like actually completing a project, so I just did a quick very silly baby dress. Ta-da.
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Thursday, June 17, 2004

rwowr, I am babyzilla! I am unstoppable!

Fabulous godchild GrandMaster BabyK started crawling yesterday. Cutest thing ever. Even cuter than when she tried to eat a metal chair with her six mighty teeth last week.

Since her baptism is coming up in August, I need to get going on her dress. I have many ideas. We're definitely looking at something short, since she's so mobile. I can't see putting her into the traditional long gown. I can hear it, though, and it sounds like riiiiip as she tries to take off across the room. So, one pretty white dress, coming up. Ryan has some antique slips and petticoats which we're going to plunder for lace. The fabric of them is a loss, but the lace is lovely. I'll set up a sewing journal once there's something to look at. Speaking of which, your eyes have all beheld the glory of my Mr. Roboto water heater, right?
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Tuesday, June 15, 2004


Dennis and I have been married for a whole month! I like it.
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Monday, June 14, 2004

not in so many words

I am working on my application essay for School for Deacons. So far, I'm not all that impressed with my writing. I'm still in the Pompous Draft stage, aka I'm A Big Jackass Know-It-All. I find it's something I have to pass through when I'm writing something like this.

The guidelines are:

1. Briefly describe the nature of your vocations as you now perceive it.
2. What expectations do you have for your ministry?
3. Briefly describe any current ministries you are undertaking and/or significant parish or diocesan activities.

Well, I bitch on the internet a lot. Or were you looking for something more constructive?

Anyway, I'm hoping to be admitted for this fall, assuming that I can get this application together. I also need a letter of support from TheRev, and another one, the employer letter, saying that I can use crude stone tools and make fire and should be able to handle college-level work. There was a bit of drama around these, since Certain People sort of forgot to respond to my request, leaving my brain to go in all sorts of directions, which can best be summed as, Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms. It's possible that I'm a bit oversensitive about this. (TheRev suggested that a better reaction would have been, "What a bunch of flakes. No wonder Jesus had to die to save their sorry asses.")

I'm sidestepping the formal vocations process for the moment. The next discernment conference is in February 2005, and I don't have enough time to prepare. So, I'm going to start school anyway and aim for the 2006 conference. I have three years of school ahead of me, so there's plenty of time.

Pray for me here, ok?
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Saturday, June 12, 2004


I've got a journal going for the kitchen project here: Operation Less-Sucky Kitchen.
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becoming something else

I'm not going to get to play with the pretty yellow paint this weekend, because there's no way I'm going to get through the prep work. Every place I look, there's another spot to be spackled, another place which is just gross and is going to need more than the simple TSP wipedown I had planned. My life = spackle. sand. caulk. degrease.

It's entirely possible that my original timeline was just wildly unrealistic to begin with. I tend to overestimate my own productivity, or maybe it's more that I think, well I just read a book or a magazine article about what I'm going to do, so of course I'll just whip right through it. And then I'm disappointed when it takes longer than it did to visualize it. Still, I don't know how many things I'd actually start if I knew just what was going to be involved.

God is sort of like that; you finally reach out and grab ahold of Jesus because, in that moment of crisis or terror or whatever, you'd grab anything, and God will often do an extra glimmer to get your attention just when you need something to grab.

And then things get better - maybe because of God, maybe just because that's the cycle - and you're still sitting there holding onto God and then God lifts you up on your feet and says, babe, we got through that, and now we're just gonna take off a couple layers of skin that aren't doing you any good, see. Yeah, you'll be a little bit raw for a while, because the new skin doesn't grow in right away. It might suck sometimes, you won't enjoy all of it, but just hang in there, ok? Hold my hand.

And then you're sitting there all raw and confused and nothing that used to work to numb you out does the job anymore, but the shiny soothy thing you were getting from God before seems out of reach and did I mention that this part sucks? And then slowly you start to grow new, better skin, that's not as hardened. People can get in, maybe for the first time ever.

That's the time that interests me the most; the moment when you first realize that the relationship with God is going to require things of you that you are probably not prepared to give, and that it will probably hurt a bit. It's the time of purging, followed by the gangly feeling of not really having a definable self, because so much got thrown out.

I'm actually very uncomfortable with things that are on their way to becoming something else. I think this at least partially explains why I am, as Dennis says, in such a goddamn hurry to paint the kitchen and get our things settled in there. I'm not good at waiting. I'm inclined to whip through the prep work in a decidedly half-assed manner. I think that's why I've had so many false starts vocationally; I keep wanting to rush ahead, to figure out what God wants from me, and everytime I do, I feel the hand on my shoulder pushing me back down into my chair. Obstacles appear, wise words are spoken to me...the message gets through.

It's hard to accept that I am on my way to becoming something else.
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Thursday, June 10, 2004

it's morning and you are happy, dammit!

I have paint. I have Mellow Yellow and Green Meadow, and I am going to use them. The yellow goes everywhere in the kitchen, and the green is for trim and inside the cabinets. It's going to be a slap-you-on-the-head cheerful kind of kitchen. You will be happy, or the Virgin of Guadalupe curtains will kick your ass.

You know, after I make them. Which I will do. Soon.

edit - for more brilliant commentary on the hell of home repair, I direct you to this, which made me laugh really hard, between cringing.
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Tuesday, June 08, 2004

if you'd only cut loose, footloose

Yes, I hate stupid quizzes and 'what dog are you?' things, but this is rather fun and I scored 116.

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Monday, June 07, 2004


I closed a portal to Slug Hell on Saturday.

I'm planning to paint the kitchen next weekend, so I started prepping on Saturday. First stop: cleaning out under the sink. I usually don't wear rubber gloves when I clean, but it smelled...funky under there, so I grabbed the latex medical gloves I bought for painting, and got to work. There were some black garbage bags piled up toward the back of the cabinet, and I pulled them out and was moving them toward the garbage pail...and SLUGS FELL OUT! Ewwwwwwww. I hate slugs. They're like boogers with antennae. They're one of God's grosser creations. I'm sure they're all part of some master plan, but I'm hoping the plan does not include having them under my sink.

I dug back further and found a rotted spot in the back where I think they were getting in. I put a piece of wood over it and caulked all around it, so hopefully the portal is now closed.

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Friday, June 04, 2004

I'm happy...yet I'm aware of the ironic ramifications of my happiness.

Thing I learned today: it is possible to get a full-size ironing board into a beetle. You just won't enjoy it very much.

Actually, I'm deeply excited about the ironing board, excuse me, Ironing Station. It's deeply swanky, and I got it at Big Lots for less than half what Amazon wants for it. Understand, I sewed my wedding dress using only a 12x18" quilter's pressing mat, so this is a huge step up, and especially welcome considering that I have many many projects in my head right now.

Still, it's a little amusing that the things that have excited me most in the past week are a new refrigerator and a new ironing board. Gah. Am I a 50s wife all of a sudden?

Actually, the most exciting thing is that my balance is slowly returning to normal. I had a couple of wacky-shack moments today, but they passed pretty quickly. I'm still tired all the time, though, and my Saturday plans are probably too ambitious, in that they involve completely organizing the apartment.

A couple of blogs which have been entertaining me this week: One Good Thing and the rediscovered Mimi Smartypants. You know how sometimes you just forget about a great blog for a while, and then you're at home, sick with the swirlies and all you can do is sit very still at the computer and look through old bookmarks and you rediscover it and lose three hours reading the archives? There should be a word for that.

Image swiped from the fabulous Anne Taintor. Ryan has it as a magnet, and it makes me laugh.
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Wednesday, June 02, 2004

whining whining whining

Dennis seems better today; I don't think he had what I have after all. I have Labyrinthitis, which I'm pointing out just because it's fun to say, AND because it's the kind of thing you can invent other meanings for. Such as, I just watched all of David Bowie's movies from the 80s and now I have Labyrinthitis.

It's less fun than watching weird muppets, though. It's an inflammation of the inner ear, probably caused by my allergies, which will maybe go away at some point in the next couple of WEEKS. I have a prescription for an anti-vertigo pill, but it makes me sleepy and is only really useful at night. Not that skipping the part where I turn over in bed and wake up with the room spinning isn't welcome, of course. I've slept on the sofa for the past few nights just because it keeps me from moving around so much.

I'm managing to work today, because I'm pretty much ok if I don't make any dramatic head movements, such as standing up. Standing up is not one of my favorite activities right now. Sitting at the computer is not so bad, which is why I forget about standing up slooowly. Wheee, there goes the room again.
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004

we are sick

I started feeling lousy late Saturday, and by Sunday, lifting my head caused the room to spin. Major vertigo.

Now Dennis has it, too, and of course it's going a bit worse for him, because that seems to be the way of it for the second person who gets sick. I'm glad I'm mostly past the nausea part, since we only have one bathroom.

I'm going to the doctor this afternoon.
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