Angels We Have Heard
Are High

angelic kitsch...from Hell

Cavalcade of Bad Nativities
it came upon a midnight weird

The Passion of the Tchotchke
holy week kitsch-o-rama

Stations of the Kitsch


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Saturday, April 17, 2004

yesterday it was my birthday, I hung one more year on the line...

...I should be depressed, my life's a mess, but I'm having a good time...

Actually, Thursday was my birthday, but I can never miss a chance to quote 70s-era Paul Simon.

I'm weird about my birthday. I can never decide if I want people to make a big deal about it or not. This makes me a giant pain in the ass, of course.

I don't know why I'm so ambivilent. It's not the fear of getting older. Every year, I just hope that I'll finally outgrow acne. 34 isn't a scary number, and my life is on an upward trajectory so the best years are certainly not behind me.

Of course, last year, my life really did suck fifteen kinds of monkey butt on my birthday. It was Holy Week, and I was staying on Jon and Ryan's couch and in no mood to celebrate. But Ryan and Leigh tried their best, making me a giant fondue feast and trying to get me all liquored up on red wine. I'm not really sure how the fondue fuel spilled on the table, and I certainly didn't leap on it heroically to save the table from the puddle of blue flames. I don't actually remember how the fire got put out, in fact. The cool thing was that it barely damaged the table, since only the fuel was burning.

So, after that, it was kind of a letdown not to get any flaming furniture in honor of my birthday this year.

The wedding is really overshadowing everything else right now, including the birthday, which is to be expected. Actually, my birthday was also the one-month point for the wedding, so we're now into a matter of weeks. I should be sewing right now.
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Thursday, April 15, 2004

One nation, under ME...

Jesus Pledges Allegiance painting

So, um, can anyone think of anything that Jesus could be pledging allegiance to that wouldn't be completely wrong?

The most obvious interpretation is that he's pledging allegiance to the flag, of course. But no one would actually suggest that, right? That Jesus should pledge his allegiance to our flag? I don't even think that Fox News would say that.

I hope it makes Jesus of the Week at some point.

On a far more entertaining note, check out the commercial for the Jesus Action Figure.
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Monday, April 12, 2004

repeat customers are our most valuable customers

Dennis and I just bought our wedding rings online. After I finished the checkout, the store, which pretty much only sells wedding rings, asked if I wanted to be notified of future specials - presumably on wedding rings. Urrrrm, thanks, I think I'll be using this one for a while, mmmmkay?

I know they just want to ping us later to try to get us to buy sparkly 'anniversary' rings (not bloody likely), but it was still funny. We want to be your wedding ring store, every time!
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the Easter that sort of wasn't

Bleh. I missed Easter. I came down with the stupid stomach bug that is making the rounds here, and had to miss the Easter Vigil, which is only my favorite service of the entire year, and I didn't feel well enough to make the drive to St. Ned's Sunday morning, either. So I need everyone to sing a couple bars of Jesus Christ is Risen Today to make me feel better. Ok? On three....

I was feeling a bit better by late afternoon on Sunday, and I was starting to go a mite stir-crazy from being in the house for two days, so Dennis took me out for a little skee-ball and a movie. We saw Hellboy, which seemed like a fine choice for Easter. Or not. But I liked it a lot more than I expected to, and it was nice to be out with the Dennis. Plus the rickety old Addams Family pinball machine at the arcade was malfunctioning and kept giving us free balls, which was fun once we got used to the fact that the flippers were a bit delayed and played the game accordingly. Still badly, of course, but hey, free balls.

We rounded out the evening with some tidbit TV, which usually takes the form of "VH-1's 100 [blankiest] [blanks]" and is the perfect background noise for getting work done. I sewed beads on the neckline of my future wedding dress (right now, it's a bunch of shapes cut out of fabric), which is what I have been doing for a couple of weeks now. So far, there are 3 gross of Swarovski crystals on there, which sounds like a human disco ball, but somehow isn't.
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