Home

Angels We Have Heard
Are High

angelic kitsch...from Hell

Cavalcade of Bad Nativities
it came upon a midnight weird

The Passion of the Tchotchke
holy week kitsch-o-rama

Stations of the Kitsch


 


I am not responsible for the content of the above ads, which are often hilariously mis-matched.

 

 
Friday, November 14, 2003

See ya later, alligator

I'm off for a weekend retreat.

My plan is to carve out my own mini-retreat, away from all the programming and speakers and noise. I have books, in both paper and audio form. I have handwork to do (embroidered towels for Christmas gifts). I have Zone bars to get me through the weekend if I don't want to go to the dining hall. I have a bottle of wine which Ryan gave me, to use as needed. And, yes, a corkscrew. Learned my lesson on that one. I wonder if Merlot goes better with the apple cinnamon bar or the lemon yogurt one. Hmmmm.

I'm going to have to journal on paper this weekend. Bah! Might as well have a stone tablet and a chisel. I'm so used to thinking at a keyboard, it's going to be a huge shift to have a pen again. We'll see how that works out.
link | Comments []

[back to top]


Wednesday, November 12, 2003

cluestick

I've been spending so much energy working myself into stupid knots because I don't know what to DO in order to get back on track spiritually. I've just felt so empty and none of the obvious answers seemed good enough.

I've been doing a lot of shower prayer - you know, where you're in the shower and you just start praying and it's sort of messy and angry and the next thing you know, the hot water is gone and you still have glop in your hair and you're late for work. Basically, the prayer comes down to, what do you want me to DO now? I don't know what to DO!

People who read my earlier post re: maybe not having to mindfuck everything to death to get results are already jumping up on their desks, waving their hands in the air so I'll call on them, because they have figured it out. I'm going about this all wrong. Surprise! Well, ok, not surprise. Why is it that I can maintain an epiphany for maybe 10 minutes and I completely lack the ability to re-apply it in other areas?

See, I'm still trying to run the show, still trying to control everything, still trying to have my relationship with The Jeez be tied to something I'm doing or not doing or only doing partly right. Because wouldn't it be so much more comfortable that way? It's so much scarier to say, God, here I am, put me to use and I'll hang on for the ride.

I couldn't stop laughing when my spiritual director finally made the connection for me yesterday morning. At the end of a session, she always prays for me. This was the prayer yesterday:

Dear Lord, here is Sara. Amen.
link | Comments []

[back to top]


Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Just One More Hour, and Then We Go Home

I love McSweeny's. Enjoy Rejected Titles for Hymns.
Via a nerd in cute clothes.
link | Comments []

[back to top]


Monday, November 10, 2003

I'm a junkyard full of false starts

Words aren't really working for me right now. Most of my entries on Going Jesus are distilled from my personal journal, and there just hasn't been much to work with lately. Maybe I should do what the Preacher does and just say that I'll be gone for a while when this happens, but I still keep the hope that something will pop together.

As I said last week, my life is more spacious right now. Some things which were obstacles in October have been cleared away. And it turns out that I don't really know what to do with the space.

My spiritual practice has fallen to shit. Tonight will be the first time I say compline in over a month. As I mentioned, my journal is a bit barren. God is sort of this remembered thing instead of an active presence.

There is dust on my Bible. I've missed enough sessions of the Sunday night Bible Study I wanted to attend that I think I'm just going to start one of the new sessions in the Spring.

I have a spiritual direction appointment tomorrow and I have no idea what I'll talk about. Last month's session turned into pastoral care because of my general feeling of overwhelm. Now I'm returning with...emptiness. Which is maybe not such a bad place to start.
link | Comments []

[back to top]


Sunday, November 09, 2003

shocked. shocked, I tell you.

Remember that Beanie Baby auction I linked to a while ago? Turns out it was a fraud. There is no ex-wife. Some Beanies were fake.
link | Comments []

[back to top]



archives