Angels We Have Heard
Are High

angelic kitsch...from Hell

Cavalcade of Bad Nativities
it came upon a midnight weird

The Passion of the Tchotchke
holy week kitsch-o-rama

Stations of the Kitsch


I am not responsible for the content of the above ads, which are often hilariously mis-matched.


Saturday, August 16, 2003

great, green, glowing Sundays

We had a Godly Play meeting last night, and I told the Calendar of the Church Year story to the other teachers. It's a cool story; there's a big wooden base with a circle of wooden blocks in it, with different colors for the different parts of the year. There's also a slight-of-hand bit with gold cord and 'time in a line' which gets tied into a knot because every beginning contains an end and every end, a beginning (are we paying attention here, Sara?).

Anyway, I was almost to the end, when I was rebuilding the circle with all the blocks, and I started to realize that I was not going to have enough blocks to complete my circle. Also, I noticed that people were laughing. The "kid" next to me had stolen some of my green blocks (which represent the "great, green, growing Sundays after Pentecost - and if you think I can say that without having it come out great, green, glowing Sundays, you would be wrong - so, after Pentecost, we're all slightly radioactive) and was looking really pleased with himself. So I couldn't stop laughing and flubbed the rest of the story. I was doing pretty well up until that point, though. It was really funny. Note to self: keep an eye on the blocks when telling that story.
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Thursday, August 14, 2003

so, in that one episode, did you realize that the physics were all wrong and that never could have happened?

Well, this is fascinating-slash-depressing: Hollywood is Calling. Get that guy from that show to call and wish your friend a happy birthday. Or go all-out:


Have a celebrity call someone you care about and tell them how much you love them with a message that's been custom written by you. The actual celebrity you choose below will call and deliver a live and personalized message within 7 days of your order placement. Whether you'd like to buy someone a really unique and memorable gift or you're a fan who'd like to have a personalized audio souvenir from a real celebrity, this is the gift for you.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2003

other blogs

Real Live Preacher continues to kick serious booty:

When life seems chaotic, you don't need people giving you easy answers or cheap promises. There might not be any answers to your problems. What you need is a safe place where you can bounce with people who have taken some bad hops of their own.

Tracy has a shocking experience with her DSL. I'm rather surprised I've never done that.

There are some less-than-helpful gardening tips in the What's New section at They're Coming to Get You, Barbara.

Dennis writes about Bad hair, good mood.
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woof on the roof

I'm taking care of a really sweet dog for the next week and a half. She's so nice! She slept next to my bed all night and snored in a really cute doggy way.

I had to give her three pills this morning. She was good about it, but the look in her eyes said that she really was just humoring me because I was so inept. I wrapped the smallest one in cheese, so I think I got bonus dog points for that.

The best thing about her is that she knows how to get up on the garage roof, via stairs at the back of the house. So, when I pull into the driveway, sometimes there is a barking dog on the roof warning me to stay away. 'Cause she's so fierce. Grrr!

<edit> A parishoner just brought in her adorable new dog, fresh from the groomer. He's a Bichon Frise/Cairn Terrier mix. He could not be any cuter, especially with his spiffy new short haircut and fluffy tail. Such a sweetie, all 18 lbs. of him.
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A Collect for Peace

Most holy God, the source of all good desires, all right judgments, and all just works: Give to us, your servants, that peace which the world cannot give, so that our minds may be fixed on the doing of your will, and that we, being delivered from the fear of all enemies, may live in peace and quietness; through the mercies of Christ Jesus our Savior. Amen.

[Sara paraphrase: please help me stop the little mental hamster on his little mental wheel]

I met with a new spiritual director yesterday, and now I'm totally confused again. Surprise. I'm now thinking about maybe not starting classes in the Spring, and just focusing on Godly Play, and my new evening prayer service, running my small group for a couple of months, and maybe doing a couple of other things.

I realized over the weekend that fitting in even one class that meets twice a week in Berkeley would have a huge impact on my schedule, and really limit the things I can do @ St. Ned's, especially if I had to get a side job to pay for it, which looks fairly likely after doing some number crunching.

I've been looking through my diocese's ordination handbook, and at some of the PCOM (parish commission on ministry, the group that decides who gets sent to the bishop for consideration) questions, and realizing that I can't answer many of them right now. The ones about what my specific ministry looks like are the most troublesome, and I don't think that pulling myself out of my parish to go to school is going to help that.

I also think that just mentally pulling myself off ordination track for like six months could be useful. I can do that - just jump in and enjoy the ministry for it's own sake, and its not going to affect anything one way or the other. I am just tired. Really fucking tired and fried.

Y'know, I really wouldn't mind a nice, unambiguous burning bush right 'bout now.
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Monday, August 11, 2003


You know what I fight with? Giant killer atomic monkeys.

That, and the need to know Exactly What Is Going To Happen Next. I seem to constantly vacillate between having faith that, yup, everything is going to happen according to God's will and I can just take my hands of the controls....and the polar opposite, where I want the entire world to sign legally binding papers promising not to surprise or disappoint me in any way.

Sigh. There is entirely too much ambiguity in my life right now and I'm handling it with zero grace. Zero.

I have done nothing on my CDSP application. I'm stalled. Ok, last week maybe wasn't the best week to work on it, as it turned out. Too much national church drama, too many renditions of Pharaoh Pharaoh in my head. I'm just having a hard time getting back into the right mental space to do it.

Nothing feels very solid right now.

God, by whom the meek are guided in judgment, and light rises up in darkness for the godly: Grant us, in all our doubts and uncertainties, the grace to ask what you would have us to do, that the Spirit of wisdom may save us from all false choices, and that in your light we may see light, and in your straight path may not stumble; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
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yeah, I caved

Oh, and I bought the little silver cross stud earrings from Kiss My Ring on Saturday. I'm wearing them right now and I love them. They're so handmade.
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clip clip clip

St. Ned's has a lot of church clip art, and sometimes it's funnier than it should be. I don't just mean the Jesus as Phish Fan drawings, we've all seen Dude Jesus; I like the ones that are just wrong. For example:

Come experience our new mind-control cross! Yes, we use the power of :::Radar::: to keep your kids in the pews. You'll be amazed by their fine, upstanding behavior as soon as we turn the power switch of the new mind-control cross!

Alternately, it could be some sort of emergency preparedness illustration. When you hear the cross siren, duck!

Really really depressing child care available. This kid looks like she's doing time in cellblock crayola. Where is my mommy? When is she coming back? How long can this vestry meeting be, anyway?
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