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Thursday, July 12, 2007
Thanks for the responses on the church issue. No clarity here yet.
I know part of what we're feeling is standard normal adjustment stuff, because our days of quiet, contemplative worship as a couple are OH-vah. At least for a while, anyway. Welcome to the Wrangling Years. So now we have to suck it up and go to a service with music, either the kid service or the later Rite II, which is twice as long as the early service, but maybe we could make it work if we used the nursery for part of it. I'll miss my early-morning peeps, though; switching services at St. Ned's is basically switching to a different congregation. (edited to clarify that no one is asking us to leave that service, it's just that the worship style is totally not compatible with Mr. Active Pants, for us as much as for anyone else)
The bigger issue is whether or not this is still our home. 2006 wasn't a great year for me and Dennis at St. Ned's. Long-time readers may remember that we lost TheRev at the end of 2005, and got a new rector last fall. Of course, Dennis and I had some other things going on then; my maternity leave began abruptly a few weeks after NewGuy started ("Hi! I know I said I'd be in around 11 after my OB appointment, but I'm in the hospital and I'll be back sometime in January.") It's ok if you missed that, like I said, I got distracted, too. Anyway, losing TheRev made our jobs suck a lot more, and there's still some disappointment/bitterness from that which maybe we never really bounced back from.
I don't really have much of an opinion on NewGuy, since like everything else he was pretty much background noise while we dealt with my hospitalization and Isaac's rocky start and the great parent adjustment. But going back doesn't feel like slipping into something warm and familiar. I feel tense and defensive, which is not exactly the best way to approach God, I tell you what.
I've also really been isolating myself lately, so I'm having big ol' social anxiety issues about switching services or churches. The downside to cube life for me is that it's really easy for me to just not talk to anyone all day, and then I get entirely too comfortable in my little hermitage. I'm on our office chat channel all day, but I don't know if being able to hide behind that is the healthiest thing for me. I'm so much more pleasant in written form, but I think I'm losing my comfort with f2f interaction, which was never high to begin with. It's worrisome when I see myself deliberately making my world smaller, because it generally doesn't lead to good things. Gotta keep an eye on that.
I need to get back into a small group soonish, or maybe start a new one again. That usually shakes me out of this kind of shit. Hmmmm. Maybe I can do one that is knitting-based. Stitch-n-Bitch-n-Pray.
Meanwhile, Isaac had his 9-month checkup yesterday and is a big 16 pounds, 2 ounces and 26" long. We had to go to the lab to get blood drawn for an anemia test (he's fine). He was really interested and didn't cry at all when they pricked his finger, but started to get annoyed and then angry while they were trying to get the blood out, because he wanted his hand back. As the person who trims his nails, I know that look well. They put a gauze bandage on his finger afterwards, but of course he stared at it for a minute and then popped it off (yeah, I don't think we have any fine-motor issues here) and I had to snatch it away before he could get it in his mouth. So that was our adventure in medical science for this week.
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