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Thursday, October 12, 2006
Here's a little more about getting this baby born...
The final straw that made them decide it was Baby Time on Tuesday night was the heart rate decelerations that they were seeing on the monitor. They were getting more frequent and there wasn't an obvious cause for them, but they were troubling. In the end, it turned out that the flippiest boy in flippyville had lasso'd himself with his u-cord and it was wrapped around his neck twice. So, really, yay for getting him out.
They got me ready to go to the OR and brought a cute little paper outfit for Dennis to wear. I got to the OR and the anesthesiologist asked if I minded that he was playing Lionel Richie. I couldn't help it, I said, "Haven't I suffered enough?" Because, dude? Seriously? Lionel Richie?
I got my spinal (soundtrack: Hello. Fucking Hello.) and they got me on my little cruciform board and all draped (soundtrack: Easy) and ready to roll. By then I had misplaced the lower half of my body.
So, yeah, C-sections feel weird. Just weird. Because clearly someone is messing around inside one's body, there's just no pain. Dennis was standing up by my head and all I could see was this big blue drape. And I could hear them singing along with All Night Long, just to make it that much more surreal.
Finally, my OB said that we were about to get the baby, (soundtrack: Endless Fucking Love. I am not kidding.) and there was this really odd feeling, and then...nothing. Uh, hi? What's going on? "Oh, he's just a tiny little peanut!" and then I could hear the sound of a handoff but...nothing.
Endless Love blares on. The day before, Dennis and I had watched the fine MST3K episode, Puma Man, which contains significant mockery of said song, adding to the feeling of being stalked by this song. This terrible, terrible song.
Finally there was a very annoyed baby sound from the corner of the room, Dennis and I breathed, which we maybe hadn't done for a bit, and then they brought over our little burrito boy all wrapped in a blanket. I could barely see him since I didn't have my glasses on, and they wouldn't let us hold him because he needed to go to the nicu for oxygen, so Dennis left with him.
And then the doctors switched over to an Eagles live album and sang Hotel California while they stitched me up, and I went to recovery. Dennis came back and told me that Isaac looked great, and he was all beaming and excited and adorable. He must have raced back and forth between us three times while I was in recovery, finally telling me that the baby was off the oxygen and breathing great. I sent his giddy ass home to try to sleep.
...and that's how I saved Christmas!
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