I would go so far as to make accusations regarding its activities with monkey butts, even. There is sucking.
As always, it's stupid petty shit that is making me feel especially worn down and hopeless. Generally, I'm able to maintain well enough, to keep everything going and be perky and reassuring, and then someone says one stupid thing to me and it all comes crashing down. I break rather than bend, and these are bendy times I live in.
I think what's hardest is that no one at St. Ned's is really ok now...usually when there's a tragedy or upset of some kind, it is concentrated most heavily a few people, and if you are one of those people, you can figure that there are other people who are doing a little better than you are and can be the voice of reason or something. They're fighting their own, different battles and can give you some perspective on yours. Instead, it's like every person who walks through the door is wounded in some way by the very same thing that is wounding me, so there's no chance to get and maintain a sense of peace. I'm not explaining this well. But it's getting harder and harder to throw myself back into it every day.
Dennis got home from New York on Tuesday with a horrible case of the flu, so he had an especially lousy birthday yesterday, unfortunately. I'm officially shifting his birthday to next week since he spent the day sleeping under the watchful eyes and furry butt of Gracie.
I'm also probably getting sick myself, but I'm not thinking about that right now.
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