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Monday, October 10, 2005
Sorry for the radio silence. Nothing that I've been writing lately seems like something to inflict on the world.
Which is to say that I'm in one of those weird, un-moored, flaky places where I don't really know what's what. This usually means that I'm undergoing (yet another) giant shift, that more stuff I don't need is dropping away. But before I get there, I always have this time of re-assembling myself.
I also usually get sick as part of the process, which explains why I have a splitting headache this morning.
One of the less-charming aspects of this time is that I'm really flinchy and really insecure and constantly convinced that everything I'm doing basically sucks and I'm only being tolerated out of misguided Christian charity. Again, it's that temporary loss of grounding, that feeling of picking up the mental toybox and dumping everything out. Makes me a little crazy.
I'm definitely moving toward something good, toward a deeper appreciation for the fullness and blessedness of my life and a deeper acknowledgement of where it's coming from. There's just all this shit in the way that I need to clear out first.
In other unexpected developments, I'm going to be working in a cubicle again, and I'm actually excited about it. We're re-configuring the main office space so that I have a little fortress of solitude hidey-hole. I got us some surprisingly swanky cubicles off freecycle. Our current open office plan really isn't compatible with video editing, which requires a level of focus I just can't maintain for very long with all the distraction.
We had a lot of parishioners off at an event yesterday morning, so I only had three kids for Godly Play. I think I made one kid's day because I gave him ALL the clay during response time. He had a blast with it. Crayola Model Magic: best clay ever. I know that it's more crunchy to make your own, but this stuff comes out of the carpet and stays soft week after week, so we love it. There are big tubs of white Model Magic in every room. Party!
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