well, this should cheer everyone right the fuck up
Doll-based levity aside, I'm actually in a pretty crappy place right now.
For one thing, my birthday is on Friday, and I get weird around my birthday.
I'm also having serious doubts about my ability to finish this semester of school. All this anti-baggage work I'm doing right now is consuming all of my available formation calories, and while I could probably coast through and pass most of the classes, I wouldn't actually be absorbing anything. Which is kind of a shitty way to live and misses the point entirely. I don't see myself being ready to do field work starting in August, so I've blown the three-year plan as it is. I'm just feeling really damaged right now, and some days I can barely even get myself to work, let alone think about getting my homework done. And I'm doing a lousy job at work. The Toilet Paper Crisis of 2005 is not exactly going to be in my 'impressive accomplishments' column.
I don't think I'm knitting for entirely healthy reasons. Although I guess it's better than I'm using that as an escape mechanism instead of endless games of freecell, which is where I was last month. At least the fairy godchild gets cute stuff out of it. Women who knit too much, and the kids they knit for.
I just feel like such a fucking failure. Which isn't at all helpful, I know, especially since it's really clear to me that what I'm doing right now is what I need to be doing (the therapy, not the knitting) if I'm going to be of use to my calling. But that doesn't make me feel like less of a giant loser.
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