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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Thing that rocks about being me today: I have lilacs on my desk. And they smell glorious. TheRev's wife brought them in for me from their garden. There are roses, too, including one that is a beautiful progression from light to dark pink.
Also, I have a kickass new purse with a freak show Ape Girl banner on it, because Ryan gives the best birthday presents ever.
I had a very good meeting with my spiritual director. One of the things we noticed is that I haven't questioned my faith at all through everything I've been going through these past couple of months. My reality is: I live in Oakland. I am married to Dennis. My car is green. God is with me. None of these statements are more or less true than the others.
I'm sad, but I haven't really hit despair. This is just where I need to be right now, and I'm surrounded by people who aren't going to let me fall. I think that's why I can be doing the inner work that I'm doing now and not be so afraid. Because people will be there with me and bring me lilacs and chocolate and let me just be in suckiness for a while, even as they invite me out of it.
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