I have school this weekend, which means that as of last night, I stopped being able to really breathe. My chest is all tight and I've burst into tears about three times already today and I haven't even had lunch yet.
Is this what doing God's will looks like? Or am I trying to push myself in where maybe I am not ready to go, or am not supposed to go at all?
Or is this just my time to deal with my anxiety issues so that they can be gone?
Sigh. I do not know the answers to any of this. I'm seriously considering dropping a couple of classes, though. That will take some of the load off while keeping me engaged with the school so that I can't just retreat away and be overly comfortable. Clearly the anxiety, which is rooted in the feeling like I am completely useless and God knows it and so does everyone else, needs to be dealt with, if only to restore adequate upper-respiratory function.
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