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maybe santa is bringing baby Jesus a nice refreshing Coca-Cola

The opportunity exists here to go off on secular Christmas vs. sacred Christmas, but you know what? I'm freaking exhausted. And you've pretty much heard it all before anyway, so my additional thoughts about Santa aren't going to be all that illuminating. So fill in the rant here, mad-libs style.

This is wrong on [number] levels. What [adjective][noun] thought of this? Jesus [letter]. Christ on a [noun], this is a [adjective] idea.
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