One of my less appealing personality characteristics is that I'm deeply lazy. I believe we call this sloth, although that always makes me think of the silly animal by that name and distracts me from what I really mean.
To make this slothfulness even less charming, I will let something, say the interior of my car, go for far far too long, and then when I finally do something about it, I want a freaking parade in my honor.
Get the monkeys into their costumes, because I actually cleaned my car interior this morning. I've been housesitting this weekend, and taking care of Rainbow, aka Spazzy McSpazdog, a very sweet golden retriever puppy with a thing for chewing on my arm. Housesitting also allowed me access to an actual driveway and an array of devices that all pointed to cleaning my damn car already.
First, I mucked out the debris, finding, among other things, an unmailed birthday gift for my niece. Ack. I am the world's suckiest aunt. It will go in the mail tomorrow. (I'm so sorry, MacKenzie! I have Bridal Brain! I have lost 20 IQ points and all of my short-term memory!) I also found an inflatable monkey, 7 diet crack cans, 4 mapquest printouts to places I haven't been in months, 6 doses of sudafed, a Book of Common Prayer, 8 ballpoint pens, and $1.83 in change. I would point out here that I didn't even touch the trunk, and that the Beetle is not a large car. This was all in the passenger compartment.
Then I vacuumed, which was very exciting because my friend owns an actual grownup vacuum, the kind that people with carpets and kids and dogs should have. We have hardwood floors at home, and are all about the Swiffer, plus a little handvac. Then I used the other thing that probably everyone with carpets and kids and dogs should have, which is the Bissel Stainlifter, a deep cleaning wet brush thingy. I used that on the seats, especially where things like spilled coffee and muddy dog feet had come into play. Fabulous.
Then I got really inspired and started cleaning all the plastic bits and the doorjambs and the vast expanse of dashboard and the cupholders. I even took the silk daisies out of the vase and shook them to get some of the dust off.
The outside is still pretty good, since Dennis washed it last week. The Bird Mafia at St. Ned's has already left some calling cards. I've seen them; they sit on my side mirrors and just let fly. I usually have matching decorations on both sides of the car. I sense conspiracy. I gave those a quick swipe, though, so they'll just have to put new ones on tomorrow.
And thus ends an incredibly long post about cleaning my car.
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