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I'm a junkyard full of false starts

Words aren't really working for me right now. Most of my entries on Going Jesus are distilled from my personal journal, and there just hasn't been much to work with lately. Maybe I should do what the Preacher does and just say that I'll be gone for a while when this happens, but I still keep the hope that something will pop together.

As I said last week, my life is more spacious right now. Some things which were obstacles in October have been cleared away. And it turns out that I don't really know what to do with the space.

My spiritual practice has fallen to shit. Tonight will be the first time I say compline in over a month. As I mentioned, my journal is a bit barren. God is sort of this remembered thing instead of an active presence.

There is dust on my Bible. I've missed enough sessions of the Sunday night Bible Study I wanted to attend that I think I'm just going to start one of the new sessions in the Spring.

I have a spiritual direction appointment tomorrow and I have no idea what I'll talk about. Last month's session turned into pastoral care because of my general feeling of overwhelm. Now I'm returning with...emptiness. Which is maybe not such a bad place to start.
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