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sara vs. her brain

Hey, you know what's a really good idea? Being awake and worrying about life and money after midnight. Yes indeedy, you do some of your best thinking about financial matters at that time. You're all rational and shit. Yeah.

Ok, it's not really money that's stressing me out. See, I really need to find another place to live. I grabbed the first thing that came my way after Dennis and I split up last April and I had to move out, and now I'm in this weird House of Tension with two to three other people (one is moving out, but since I haven't actually seen her in three months, I'm not sure why this matters. Except apparently the toaster oven was hers, and its disappearance cuts into my taquito habit). I have my own bathroom attached to my room, so I don't need to venture out all that often, but, really, the suckiness sort of permeates the place. This is not a house where happy people live. I don't belong here. I can't relax. Something is just off and I think it was off long before I arrived and it's nothing I can fix.

I think I can make it through the end of the year, but after that I have to find something else. And that is going to require money. Fortunately, 'tis the season to find retail work, even in this craptastic economy, and I can probably earn enough to have a security deposit in hand by January. So, my plan is to sell off my evenings and weekends for the rest of the year in exchange for not having to live here anymore. I'm going to go on a massive application-filling binge on Friday. I just want something stupid that I can leave behind when I clock out. I'm thinking maybe a Pottery Barn or a Restoration Hardware kind of deal...someplace where I don't have to wear their clothes, and I like the merchandise enough to sell it but not enough to want to buy all of it.

I secretly enjoy doing retail at Christmas, but shhhhh don't tell anyone.
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