Most holy God, the source of all good desires, all right judgments, and all just works: Give to us, your servants, that peace which the world cannot give, so that our minds may be fixed on the doing of your will, and that we, being delivered from the fear of all enemies, may live in peace and quietness; through the mercies of Christ Jesus our Savior. Amen.
[Sara paraphrase: please help me stop the little mental hamster on his little mental wheel]
I met with a new spiritual director yesterday, and now I'm totally confused again. Surprise. I'm now thinking about maybe not starting classes in the Spring, and just focusing on Godly Play, and my new evening prayer service, running my small group for a couple of months, and maybe doing a couple of other things.
I realized over the weekend that fitting in even one class that meets twice a week in Berkeley would have a huge impact on my schedule, and really limit the things I can do @ St. Ned's, especially if I had to get a side job to pay for it, which looks fairly likely after doing some number crunching.
I've been looking through my diocese's ordination handbook, and at some of the PCOM (parish commission on ministry, the group that decides who gets sent to the bishop for consideration) questions, and realizing that I can't answer many of them right now. The ones about what my specific ministry looks like are the most troublesome, and I don't think that pulling myself out of my parish to go to school is going to help that.
I also think that just mentally pulling myself off ordination track for like six months could be useful. I can do that - just jump in and enjoy the ministry for it's own sake, and its not going to affect anything one way or the other. I am just tired. Really fucking tired and fried.
Y'know, I really wouldn't mind a nice, unambiguous burning bush right 'bout now.
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